Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize