Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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