It's Friday. Sex?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
