A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
