Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If I had your ass I would rule the world
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
