I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
