Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
