Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
