Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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