my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
