this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
