They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize