she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
