these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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