if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This is the high leading the old right now
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
