You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
