official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
