the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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