I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
