forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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