I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
