Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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