Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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