she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
