yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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