The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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