Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
