Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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