I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I think I am morally bankrupt
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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