Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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