how hairy? two words: wookie tits
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
