Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize