Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
