Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
