Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
