Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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