New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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