he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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