My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize