I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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