I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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