you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
