Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
