my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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