Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
