Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
