it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize