I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
