he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
