i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I party with great urgency now.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
