Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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