After last night, I could never be a politician.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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