Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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