just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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