I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize