This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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