i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
