I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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