Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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