all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
