Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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