Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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