Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize