They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
