Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm at about main and main street
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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