In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
